Just as long as they don’t come in last, humanity has a chance! Unfortunately, Decibel “Dess” Jones isn’t even sure he has what it takes in him anymore, not to mention one of his band members, Oort St. Things aren’t looking too good for Earth, but at the very least, people are reminding themselves that they don’t have to win. The band’s frontman, who was just getting used to being completely forgotten, is suddenly thrust back into the limelight as all of humanity’s hope now rests on his and his bandmates’ performance at the Grand Prix. The bad news is, pretty much everyone on that list is dead and gone, except for Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes, a washed-up glam punk rock band who had one single hit in the mid-2000s before fading rapidly back into mediocrity. The good news is that the aliens are not just going to let the humans flounder, and they’ve even provided a helpful list of their favorite singers and bands-those they believe might have the best chance at success in the contest. I’m just telling you all what’s up, so you better choose your representatives wisely if you don’t want your whole planet incinerated.”) (“Hey,” the blue alien bird thingy pretty much says to the people of Earth, “I didn’t make the rules. Worse, your entire species will then be exterminated to prevent you from becoming a danger to yourself and others. Come in dead last, and you will be deemed non-sentient and unfit to join the intergalactic community.

So, what ultimately determines whether humans will be deserving of recognition and a place among the stars? The Metagalactic Grand Prix, a singing contest in which all prospective species vying for inclusion must compete to prove their worth. However, after the disastrous results of a galaxy-wide conflict known as the Sentience Wars, these invitations are hardly going to be simply handed out to every new species they come across.

Our story starts in the new future, when Earth suddenly finds itself visited by a bright blue, seven-foot-tall flamingo-like alien who offers humanity an opportunity to join the greater galactic civilization at large.

Considering how my first experience with a Valente novel was something of a downer (with The Refrigerator Monologues) this over-the-top and fun-filled romp through the galaxy was the breath of fresh air I needed. This is the kind of book that will make you simultaneously laugh and shake your head in amazement wondering how anyone could have come up with such crazy ideas. The first line of the description for Space Opera likens it to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and I think it’s an apt comparison because the influence of Douglas Adams clearly shows (and the author even acknowledges it). This does not affect the contents of my review and all opinions are my own. I received a review copy from the publisher. Book Review: Space Opera by Catherynne M. Valente

Space opera catherynne m valente